


How to not be a heartbreaker

by thesoundofnat



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Confessions, Love Confessions, M/M, Pre-Slash, flustered mccoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 22:24:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20628512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesoundofnat/pseuds/thesoundofnat
Summary: “You wanna talk about it?”“Yes.” Bones let out a humorless laugh. “Desperately so. But I can’t.”“Why?”“I’m embarrassed.”Jim poked his cheek. “That’s a new one.”(Or, Bones tries to ask Jim out. It’s harder than he thought.)





	How to not be a heartbreaker

**Author's Note:**

> This is for insane-sociopath‘s competition/celebration for hitting 300 followers on tumblr! Congrats friend! Hope you like this even if it doesn’t win lmao
> 
> And hope whoever reads it likes it too! :)

If Bones’ high school had done the whole ‘judge someone’s whole personality by telling them what they’re most likely to become in the future’ thing, he wouldn’t have been a heartbreaker, but he had to admit he’d inadvertently broken a few hearts along the way anyway. Apparently his southern charm could occasionally be interpreted as flirting. It happened. He hadn’t always been aware of it until he’d run into the person in question years later.

Maybe it was karma that had made his divorce so messy. Maybe it had been his own fault in more than one way.

Or hers. Whatever. He was over it. It was Jim Kirk’s fault.

No, really.

Bones had been perfectly content in his stewing, the aftermath of the separation and sudden acceptance to the Academy and then the stupid ass idea to go to space, and there Jim came with his pretty blue eyes and adorably cheeky smile. Turning his mind into a whirlwind slowly, slowly as the years passed by.

Of course Bones had realized he was in love when he’d nearly lost him. Of course he’d done nothing about it afterward.

“You’re staring.”

Bones looked up at Uhura. He hadn’t even seen her enter the Bridge. “Sorry?”

“At the captain. You’re staring in a very unsubtle way.”

He crossed his arms, attempted a snort. “Why would I need to be subtle? Observing’s not a crime.”

“Yeah, well, he’s not really doing anything _worth _observing right now, is he?”

She was wrong. The way Jim was scrunching up his face looking over some files was _very _worth observing, in Bones’ opinion.

Her face softened when he turned back to her, mouth open with a counterargument. “Are you ever gonna tell him?”

His words died on his tongue, gaze going back to Jim in panic as if he’d heard her and would understand. “No.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not really keen on ruining my own life again.”

Her hand found his shoulder. “For what it’s worth,” she said, squeezing once. “I don’t think you would ruin a thing.”

And that was how Bones ended up pacing in front of Jim’s door three days later, knees shaking and hands perpetually fiddling with his hair. This was ridiculous. Why had he listened to Uhura? He’d never made a habit of ignoring his own gut when he knew it was a_ bad idea_.

Yet here he was.

He knew Jim was inside. Showering or cooking dinner, as he’d started doing recently in an attempt to unwind. Bones hadn’t told him, of course, but when he’d first seen Jim in front of the stove, seasoning whatever soup he’d been making after having spent their university years living on take out, he’d fallen for him slightly more. At that point, he’d thought it impossible, but now he found more and more reasons to love him. Like a fucking sap.

“Nova help me,” he muttered, leaving his hair alone only to drag his hand down his face. “He’s gonna be the goddamn end of me.”

He knocked.

Jim emerged shirtless, of all fucking things; hair dripping and chest wet and face lighting up when he saw who had decided to disturb him during his free afternoon. “Bones!”

“Can I come in?” he asked unnecessarily as Jim pulled him inside. Whatever he was feeling was never helped by the kid’s unwavering enthusiasm at his presence every single time.

“To what do I owe this pleasure?” he asked as Bones sat on the couch, already being handed a glass. Might as well. He probably needed that drink right now anyway.

“Oh, no reason,” he said, allowing Jim to pour him some whiskey. “Can’t a man visit his best friend without ulterior motives?”

Jim raised an eyebrow at him, but didn’t say anything as he got a glass for himself, the liquid swooshing as he sat. The bastard was wearing shorts that rode up when he settled back, giving Bones a glimpse of his inner thighs. How fucking unfair.

“Well, I appreciate the company nevertheless,” Jim finally said, raising his glass.

They toasted. They drank. Bones tried to keep himself from staring at Jim’s thighs, but his face wasn’t less distracting; with a five o’clock shadow and glittering wet spots from his shower. Those blue eyes that seemingly refused to look away from Bones, too.

He cleared his throat. “Actually,” he started, voice too high. Tone too nonchalant. “I did want to tell you something. Well, ask you something. Which I guess would lead to me telling you something too as the question would be rather revealing.”

“Oh?” Jim’s lips twitched upward, amusement so clear on his face. “Do tell.”

_It wasn’t that easy, for fuck’s sake, Jim._

“Uh, right, I-” Bones took a sip of his drink. “The thing is.” Ripping his gaze away from Jim and his stupid ass beautiful face, he put his glass down on the coffee table. “My question.”

“Your question.” Jim was outright grinning at him now. “Go ahead.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Is it?”

Apparently, since he couldn’t even say it. “A bit.”

“Well, now I’m intrigued.” Jim put his own glass down and leaned forward. “Continue.”

“I can’t.”

“You can’t?”

“I’m about to have a minor freakout.” Bones hadn’t given himself permission to stand, but standing he was. “Actually, I think I’m already in the middle of it.”

“Okay, for real.” Jim was standing too, his hands on Bones’ wrists. “What’s going on? Talk to me.”

“It’s nothing _serious_.”

“Doesn’t seem that way.”

“I’m just experiencing an emotion I never have before.”

“Which is?”

“Insecurity? I don’t know.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Yes.” Bones let out a humorless laugh. “Desperately so. But I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I’m embarrassed.”

Jim poked his cheek. “That’s a new one.”

“Oh, stop.” Bones slapped at his hand weakly. The other one, still holding onto his wrist, neither of them bothered removing.

This shouldn’t be this hard. He’d conquered his fear of space, gone through what had once been the worst thing imaginable when he got divorced, and was away from his family for most of the time. And he was a freaking southern gentleman! Asking his best friend out for dinner somewhere nice shouldn’t be this hard.

“God, I need a drink.”

“Just tell me.” Something in Jim’s voice told Bones he wasn’t playing around now. Concern was laced in his gaze, but there was a sharpness there. Bones couldn’t procrastinate any longer.

He could lie, though. It probably wasn’t worth it.

“I want to ask you out to dinner.”

“You- wait, what?” Whether it was shock or disgust that made Jim finally let go of his wrist, Bones didn’t know, but it broke something inside of him nevertheless. “Say that again.”

“_No_. Do you know how hard that was the first time?” Bones crossed his arms, eyes anywhere but on Jim. “I knew it was a mistake. Sorry. Forget it.”

“No, Bones-”

“I’ll see myself out.”

Hand on his wrist again, Jim pulling him back. “Please, just wait for a second. I need to process it all.”

Standing there watching Jim decide how to let him down gently was definitely _worse _than not saying anything at all. Thanks Uhura. She owed him a barhop or five.

“You want to ask me out… to dinner?”

“Yeah.”

“Like a date?”

“Well, yeah.” His casual shrug was the least casual thing he’d done in his life.

“And you really thought I was gonna say no?”

“I- sorry?”

Jim was laughing, but it wasn’t malicious. It almost sounded… well, a bit hysteric, frankly. “I’ve been wanting to ask you out for _months_, you fool.”

Bones was so flabbergasted that all he managed to say was, “So why didn’t you?”

“Same reason as you. I was fucking terrified.”

Bones was laughing too, now; the two of them standing in the middle of the room holding onto each other and cackling like madmen. They’d barely taken two sips of their drinks. Bones felt like he’d never need alcohol again.

“I take that as a yes,” he finally said when Jim collapsed in his arms, hand letting go of his wrist to settle in his own hand instead.

“Of course it’s a yes. I thought you’d never ask.”

Maybe _he _owed Uhura a barhop.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://thesoundofnat.tumblr.com/)!


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